Calling all folks with Questions?!

Have an issue or question that you would like input on?  Confused by a situation?  Ask Soteria!

Write me at soteria@ymail.com and I’ll answer your deepest pressing questions about life, love, and the universe…(I’m deep ya’ll!)

Old School Hip Hop Wednesdays… At the end of the day, that’s what we all want isn’t it?

I Need Love

–LL Cool J

“See what I mean Ive changed Im no longer
A play boy on the run I need something thats stronger
Friendship, trust honor respect admiration
This whole experience has been such a revelation
Its taught me love and how to be a real man
To always be considerate and do all I can
Protect you youre my lady and you mean so much
My body tingles all over from the slightest touch”

Seek Justice…

“Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death” – Les Brown

We must all work at overcoming those things which we are fearful of.

There are basically two forces at work in life.  Either something  you do is driven by love or you do something based on fear.

Example 1:

You are 38 years old and you are unmarried and have no kids and you desire a family.  You decide instead of holding onto faith and belief for your divine mate, you are going to go and have a baby by someone randomly just to avoid the possibility of not having children someday.

Example 2:

You have a desire to pursue a career in entertainment as an actor.  You have honed your craft, taken classes, and had some level of minimal success at it.  You decide that since things are not progressing fast enough, it is not for you and give up acting to go get a 9 to 5 job that you hate.  You spend the rest of your life being semi-bored and wondering ‘what if’ you had just had the courage to pursue your dreams.

Fear is a dream snatcher.  It is the opposite of faith.  If you have faith and confidence in something, fear cannot dwell there.  They cannot and do not occupy the same space.

If you look at your life you may be able to recognize that when you were in great fear of something, it usually happened.  Why is that?  Because as human beings, we  manifest.  We manifest whatever our primary energy is love or fear.  If we are in a state of fear about some specific events, your focus on that is enough to cause that thing to happen.

Seek truth and learn spiritual principles to help you know what to expect and proclaim that as part of your birthright.

Thirtysomething Revelation:  “There is nothing to fear, but fear itself” – Franklin D Roosevelt

Chronic texters..and overall Mark A@% Buster behavior…

Ok, so can you tell by the title of this article that I am more than a little annoyed about something?  Ok, so here is my rant.

While text messaging is indeed a gentle supplement to communication to our friends, family and loved ones – there are indeed plenty of people who abuse this and use it not only as their primary but their ONLY method of communication!

(Have I ranted about this previously?)

Anyway, I really have a huge pet peeve with people who haven’t talked to you since the September 11th attacks, coming out of the woodwork and sending you random text messages!  Some examples:

Hey what’s going on?

What’s going on?  Who the heck are you, I don’t even have your name programmed into my phone anymore!

Where have you been hiding?

Le Sigh. Where have I been hiding?  Ok.  Is that like that reverse psychology or something?  You haven’t been in contact, but it is the other person hiding?  I used that one back on the school yard back in 82…Imma need you to upgrade that one homie!

Just wanted to let you know that you were on my mind.  Hope to talk to you soon!

Wow.  Glad I crossed your mind…months to years later.  (Am I supposed to be flattered by that?)  Hope to talk to me soon? Oh I get it…you text because you can’t call me – your vocal chords have been injured somehow and you’ll pick up the phone anc call when the doctor clears that it’s safe again?

The above commentary is a prime example of what is called “Mark Ass Buster behavior”.  This type of behavior is somewhat excusable when you are in your twenties…but by the time you are 35 Imma need you to get it together and behave like a grown ass man.

The above is a prime example of why there are so many chronically single women or women that settle for BS in their relationships.  Ladies, demand respect at all times, and if a man can’t step up to the plate , recognize what’s up, and treat you like the queen that you are – kick his ass to the curb.

That includes picking up the damn phone and calling you instead of sending a text message!

What are you sowing?

Whether or not you subscribe to an active spiritual practice or not, one of the universal spiritual truths of life is the idea that you reap what you sow.

One cannot sow tomato seeds and expect a corn crop to sprout.  Likewise someone cannot plant seeds of hate and deception and expect to come up with love.

One of the most important revelations that someone can have while getting older is that you get what you give.  If you want loving relationships, be loving.  If you need additional income and resources, sow additional resources into someone else’s life.  What is amazing about this infinite universe that we live in is that there is an endless supply of resources.  Never operate from a position of lacking anything.  Whatever you need or desire is around you, it is just up to you to tap into it.

Thirtysomething revelation:

“Let’s love ourselves and we can’t fail to make a better situation.  Tomorrow our seeds will grow, all we need is dedication. “-Lauryn Hill

Dedicate yourself to sowing seeds of whatever you want to experience in life.  If you want folks to love you, sow seeds of love toward yourself and others. Whatever you need is at hand.  If you want something in life, sow that same energy and watch your harvest produce all that you need.

OLD SCHOOL HIP HOP WEDNESDAYS…On Thursday…because I can…

This one is by one of the most talented MC’s/singers of our generation…who bowed out of the game at the height of her career.  She was deep and beautiful…these lyrics are ever so timely today.  Peep the science:

EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING

Lauryn Hill

Sometimes it seems
We’ll touch that dream
But things come slow or not at all
And the ones on top, wont make it stop
So convinced that they might fall
Lets love ourselves then we cant fail
To make a better situation
Tomorrow, our seeds will grow
All we need is dedication

Everything is everything
What is meant to be, will be
After winter, must come spring
Change, it comes eventually

Live with Purpose…

“If you would not be forgotten,
As soon as you are dead and rotten,
Either write things worthy reading,
Or do things worth the writing.”
Benjamin Franklin

Everyday I’m hustlin…

If the past year has taught people nothing else, people should be recognize where their sufficiency comes from. To many people have placed their identities, self esteem, and hope for the future in a job. As we have all seen in the past year – there is no stability in that. A generation ago, our parents were taught to go get a good education, find a good company, work for 30 years and then retire. Nowadays we are standing around and watching our parents get laid off from their jobs after 20+ years employment, losing their pension and 401K’s, and having their homes foreclosed on as a result of predatory lending.

As a thirtysomething it is time to realize that you MUST take your financial destiny into your own hands. Start your own business. Follow your passion. Figure out a means to generate your own income so that you are not relying on anyone else to furnish it for you. This process is a whole state of de-programming for a lot of people who always felt that it was too risky to go out on their own. These same people are now realizing that it is too risky to NOT go out on your own.

I have been working on my own for the past 6 years and have had some really great times financially and some really lean times. Through it all I can say that the whole experience has been a blessing and it has taught me that the universe will provide. Faith and focus are the two most important traits of someone to have success in anything that they are undertaking. Don’t be caught up in fear. Start now.

Thirtysomething Revelation – Hustle everyday. Learn about investing. Start your own business. Follow your passion and best believe the money will follow.

Interracial Relationships…what’s the big deal?

I really find it odd and rather sad that in the year 2008 there is still extensive dialogue about ‘interracial dating’. To begin with, there is no such thing as ‘race’. What exactly is a ‘black’ or ‘white’ person?

The concept of race was started back in the 19th Century in European societies as a means to define individuals based on their skin color, hair form, bone structure, and body shape. The purpose of such definitions was to divide people into categories as a means of control and domination. I guess this gives a brief explanation of why it seems to come up all the time in various scenarios, especially since I moved down here to the south.

I have dated inter-racially a number of times and I have got to say that one of those relationships was one of the best relationships that I have ever had. He was the first white guy that I had dated seriously and it took me awhile to get over my own issues about the relationship. When it first started off, I really felt like everyone, everywhere we went was staring at us. Actually on our first date we went to Cheesecake Factory and it seemed like for some reason there was a disproportionate number of black folks in the restaurant that day. No worry to him, he walked by greeting various onlookers with a warm smile. When we sat down at our booth, the waitress hadn’t even taken our drink order before he was like “I wanna come over to your side of the booth, you are too far away”. Next thing I know, this guy is on my side of the booth, gazing into my eyes and rubbing my hand. I cannot tell you how uncomfortable I was! Not necessarily by the attention that he was showering me with, but more so by what I imagined all of the people around us were whispering at their tables.

I left that date unsure whether or not there would be a 2nd one. But alas, he pursued the relationship – and he was charming, cute, and very attentive. I was 20 years old at the time and he was quite a bit older than me…but that in and of itself wasn’t really the issue. It was the race thing. It took me about 2 months of seeing him consistently to where I no longer was concerned what other people thought about the two of us. After I released that hang up…I enjoyed a 2.5 year happy relationship. I figured out, it really wasn’t a big deal after all.

30something Revelation: Stay true to yourself and don’t worry about what others thing about it. “Those that care, don’t matter. Those that matter, don’t care.”